Tethered Souls
by Fallain
Summary: An AU on the season 3 finale inspired by Odd Thomas. Killian sacrifices himself in the fight against Zelena to save Emma from a fatal hit. But when Emma's heart can't handle losing another person she loves, they realize that there may just be something stronger than true love to save him.
1. Tethered

After watching Odd Thomas and being absolutely horrified and haunted by the depressing ending, this idea got stuck in my head.

An AU, changing the fight against Zelena and letting Rumple kill her in the barn but without the time portal opening because I wanted to figure out a way to give them a happy ending instead of the ending that was in Odd Thomas.

Beta'd by Gabe who needs to stop encouraging these bad ideas.

. .-

It was the Wicked Witch, of course it was the Wicked Witch. Zelena had her time portal open in that damned shed and time was ticking down for the rest of them to be able to stop her. The blinding yellow light was almost impossible to fight near but somehow, Charming's eyes kept on his newborn son and Robin's on Regina's heart as the battle raged around them. Between Zelena, Rumplestiltskin and the flying monkeys coming in from all sides, Emma almost wished she could have just fought Maleficent again. Back in the days when slaying a dragon seemed far fetched but easy compared to this.

It was always something. Always something there, haunting and hunting them. Unable to really take a deep breath and enjoy any of those so-called "small moments" that David once told Emma about. The only small moments she had so far had been a year and a lifetime of false memories in a life that didn't even seem like hers anymore. New York seemed as far away as the Enchanted Forest now. Another impossible realm.

Hook, or Killian really now, was by her side as he always was. A sword in his hand and his hook as deadly as can be, Emma can only grip the gun in her hands and hate that she knows the bullets would do nothing to help win this fight. What was it that Killian called himself just this morning? Cannonfodder? She may as well just be that as Rumplestiltskin waves his hand and her gun flies across the barn. She barely has time to think "Oh shit" before he waves his hand again and both her and Killian are thrown into the piles of hay.

When her eyes open again, it's only been seconds to her relief. Her eyes land on Rumplestiltskin first, seeing the wary and agitated look in his eyes that he was being forced to fight against them and they were failing to stop Zelena. Locking eyes with the Dark One, his brown eyes flicker to her right and her eyes follow to an unconscious Killian. Unconscious but with steady breathing as she watched his chest rise and fall and he'd likely reawaken like she did in a few seconds with a splitting headache. But seconds couldn't wait with two of the greatest evils facing them down. Emma makes a grab for Killian's sword, the metal feeling solid and somehow familiar in her grasp and stands to place herself between Killian and Rumplestiltskin.

The move is automatic and her eyes lock with Rumples again. She can see Regina and Zelena fighting out of the corner of her eye but she can't spare the time to help Regina. She knows that if she moves, Rumplestiltskin will attack again and she can't risk that, she can't risk leaving Captain Hook unguarded with his crocodile on the attack. Come on Regina, you can do this, she thinks desperately. Regina was a changed woman. Regina had broken the curse with true loves kiss. She COULD do this. After all the people that believed in Emma as the savior, she had to finally put her belief in someone else.

Killian stirred behind her, hearing his groan and the scrape of his boots against straw as he struggled to stand as quickly as possible. Something tightened in Rumple's jaw, tense, as his eyes darkened. It was hard to forget that after all these years, Rumplestiltskin and Killian still bore a hatred for each other that wouldn't easily be put to rest. Zelena's control or not, there had to be a reason why Killian was thrown harder than Emma and took longer to wake up. Rumplestilskin may not WANT to fight them alongside Zelena...but He couldn't deny that there was at least a little pleasure in hurting the pirate that had wounded him so badly all those years ago.

A bright, blinding flash of white light resonates through the rickety shed and Emma can't see anything for a split second and when she can...all She sees is Zelena flying backwards and Regina stalking victoriously towards her. Even Rumplestiltskin looks relieved as his body hesitantly starts to relax at the idea of being free. But with Rumplestiltskin distracted by this, Charming and Robin still distracted by the baby and heart, and Regina confident in this battle being over, Emma looks to Zelena. And horrifyingly, Zelena looks to Emma as a woman with wild and desperate eyes, determined to do anything to win. She was backed down and wounded but her wicked spirit was strong as she unleashed a last ditch effort to change the tide of the battle.

With a wave of her hand, a sickening green smoke swirled into a formless dagger. Nothing but smoke, poison and magic in a deadly combination with no way to block that was sent flying across the room towards the princess and savior. Emma was still a symbol of hope and Zelena tried to attack her instead of the Queen that had already knocked her down.

A sword can't block smoke but Emma reflexively brought Killian's sword up to try and defend herself before feeling a cold metal hook yank her aside and hit the ground. Zelena screams as Regina yanks away her brooch and leaves her magicless but Emma hears nothing as she scrambles in the straw and dirt to sit up and turn around.

The smoke dagger had hit Killian as he pushed her aside, vanishing into his body but Emma saw none of that, she only saw her pirates blue eyes flutter closed as his leather clad body crumpled to the ground.

"NO!" Someone screamed, and Emma was shocked to realized that the shrill and anguished cry had been her own. It was less than an hour ago that she had seen Killian in the same pale, position on the ground but soaked in water. "No, no, no, don't do this to me twice in one day Hook. COME ON!" Her lips are quickly muttering her jumbled thoughts as her heart hammers against her chest, her hands seeking out any form of pulse in his neck or wrists.

Not again. Not. Again. Was all she could think. She had JUST lost him. She had JUST gotten him to come back to her, to spend a little more time on this Earth with her by sacrificing her magic to bring him back. She had to have bought more time than this with her magic. He wasn't supposed to be taken from her again so soon. She still hadn't gotten to tell him she forgives him for keeping the curse a secret, or kiss him while his life wasn't depending on it or...or Tell him... Tell him she...

A choked sob escapes her lips because beneath her hand, there's no heartbeat in his chest and his skin grows colder in a way that has nothing to do with the snow outside. Yes, this had just happened today. But there had been a way to save him then and she knew it. She hadn't truly lost him before and she knew it, just like now she knows that she doesn't have a way to bring him back this time. He's truly gone.

Rumplestiltskin is rounding on Zelena, dragging the screaming witch towards him but her screams are mere muffled echoes to Emma. All Emma hears is the memory of Killian's voice. David has her newborn brother in one arm and he's kneeling next to her, shaking her with his other hand but she can't look at him. She can't look away from Killian's pale face, knowing that she'll never see that smirk again. A hundred memories of Killian, both good while on Neverland and bad while he was with Cora are crashing through Emma and shattering her heart and she screams at the same time as Zelena when Rumplestiltskin raises his dagger to sink it into the witch.

Zelena crumbles into broken porcelain but Emma is crumbling in a different way, in emotional agony. Zelena's scream is cut off by her death but Emma's is full of pain, the pain of a heart ripping in two. As something in her golden heart breaks, Zelena's curse is truly broken and Emma's magic floods back into her, overwhelming her as it mixes with her heartache and anguish. She's in too much pain to take a hold of her magic. Her emotions run wild and can't control it. Everything she's learned from Regina is unraveling and her magic erupts from her in a seismic white blast that sends David toppling over backwards. He's barely able to protect her little brother before he hits the ground and pushes himself back away from his daughter.

It's only the baby's crying that breaks the silence through the barn. Regina and Robin are confused and awestruck in the doorway but Rumplestiltskin tilts his head curiously, watching with baited breath as if he's waiting for something. Emma finally breaks her sight away from Killian's prone form to look to the baby and her father who has pain reflected back in his blue eyes. Her hands still on Killian's chest tighten and tremble because she knows David should be relieved and happy to have his son safe in his arms but the look in his eyes is the only thing that needs to be said between them. He's watching his daughter lose her true love. A pain that he wouldn't be able to live through if it happened to him which was why he volunteered to let Snow be the one to kill him. Sacrificing yourself was easy. But the toll it left on the other partner was a devastating blow to the soul.

"Emma, I'm so..." David trails off, not knowing what to say.

"Swan?"

Emma's heart almost stops again. There was only one person who called her Swan, one person with that husky, Irish accent. Her eyes fly down to Killian and his ocean blue eyes looking back up at her and she almost starts crying at the sheer relief of seeing those eyes again and secretly wanting to see those eyebrows arch devilishly again.

"Killian you sonovabitch." She lets out a hysterical laugh and smiles down at him as David gets back to his feet and tries to come over to Emma for the second time.

"Emma, come on... We shouldn't stay here. We can take care of this later..." His voice is still pained and she doesn't know why as she looks up at him and smiles.

"Yeah. We'd better get that little guy back to his mom, right?" She gets to her feet and looks back down to Killian, motioning with her eyes that he should follow them to the hospital. Wiping her tears as she leaves the barn, she doesn't question what it is that David will take care of later or why Regina and Robin are watching her so carefully and sorrowfully.

Or the way Rumplestiltskin gives one last glance to the barn as Killian quietly follows them in the back.

. .-

Emma leaned against the doorframe of the hospital room, a smile on her lips and her arms folded across her chest as she watched the tearful reunion between mother and child. She wishes that could have been her, that she could have been returned to her mother's arms when she was that young but that kind of happiness wasn't in the cards for the savior. She'd learned that the cold, hard way a long time ago. David brushes Mary Margaret's hair back lovingly as he leans down and whispers something in her ear. Snow's eyes widen in sorrow and pain as she looks up at Emma, the look in her eyes changing to a bit of confusion as she sees the smile on Emma and she looks back to David in confusion who holds no answers for her.

Killian's uncharacteristically quiet and far off down the hall from her. By now, Emma's gotten too used to his constant presence behind her or by her side and whenever she moves she automatically assumes she'll see that long, black leather jacket. It's a bit disconcerning to see him so far away. Over the past few days he'd held his distance from her, avoiding her and it'd strangely hurt her. Knowing now that it was the curse on his lips that drove him away and not any changed feelings, she walks over to him.

"Never thought i'd see one of those." He says softly as he tries to give her a smile, still looking far too pale in the florescent hospital lights.

"It's called a baby." She chides him gently, and all the heartache that she suffered through the day is erased as she looks up at him.

"No Swan. A smile."

. .

The next few days went by smoothly without Zelena. Rumplestiltskin proposed to Belle and the Charmings were moving their new son Neal into the apartment while Emma stayed in one of Grannys rooms with Henry looking for apartments. She passed by Killian's door a few times, tempted to knock on it and invite him down to breakfast or even just for a walk. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong and something horrible was going to happen. Every time she tried to tell herself that it was only because it was what she was used to feeling...she Reminded herself that was because something horrible always DID happen. Every single time she lets her guard down, a new evil comes to attack.

A few times, she presses her ear against the door just to listen for him, to try and tell what he was doing in there but all she ever heard was silence. Finally breaking down, she took out a hairpin and knelt down in the hallway to pick the lock the way that Neal had taught her so long ago. She wasn't REALLY breaking and entering his room. It was technically Granny's room and it's not like she was going to steal anything...

Not that there was much to steal. The room was clean and empty and the bed was even made. Somehow, she didn't see Captain Hook as the type to make his bed and now that she thinks back she can't recall seeing him come or go into this room in the past few days. There were no signs of him being here. No black clothing or empty rum bottles littering the floor, no books, not even an eyeliner pencil. Nothing.

She leaves the room confused, thinking back to all the times that she'd seen him the past few days. Outside of Grannys, she'd invited him in for dinner thinking that now that there was no curse on him he wouldn't have a reason to decline but he'd looked in the window at the crowded diner and sadly shook his head all the same. He'd been waiting by her yellow bug in the morning just to smile at her and say good morning and that'd warmed her heart. She'd offered him some of her hot chocolate, secretly wanting to see if he liked cinnamon in it the same as her but he declined her offer once again. Even after she joked that sharing a cup would be like indirectly kissing. She couldn't believe he turned that down...

It felt like the curse on his lips all over again with his being distant and her not knowing why. He was still constantly by her side but he'd never felt so far away. She couldn't imagine him constantly turning down invitations to be around her family before, especially not after him and Henry had grown so close.

But Henry himself hadn't been the same the past few days. He tried to smile for his mom whenever their eyes met but he always seemed sad and lost in thought. Emma simply ruffled his hair and kissed his forehead, assuming that he was grieving his deceased father now that he could remember Neal.

It wasn't just Henry though. Ruby gave Emma a hot chocolate on the house and let her hand linger on Emma's in a comforting way, telling her that she'd be here if she ever needed to talk. Emma wasn't sure what she'd want to talk about but thanked her all the same. Even Regina avoided eye contact with Emma and always stepped closer to Robin whenever she was nearby as if she needed an anchor.

Mary Margret had developed an odd habit of grabbing Emma into a tight hug whenever she was nearby and whispering hushed apologies as she stroked her daughters blonde hair and if anything had been wrong, Emma would have found it comforting. But she was only confused. She paused before entering the Charming's apartment, her hand hesitating on the doorknob and knowing that she was getting ready to walk into another awkward situation that she wouldn't be able to figure out. Maybe today would be the day that she would demand to know why everyone was treating her so odd when there should be nothing but celebration after defeating Zelena and the newborn prince being safe.

However, when she walks in, the first thing that her eyes land on are a long black leather jacket draped over a chair and a rum flask sitting on the table in front of it with a small wooden box. A smile automatically spreads over her lips at the thought of Killian being here and she shucks off her own red leather jacket as she walks over to the table.

"Where's Killian?" She looks to David who looks like a deer in headlights behind the kitchen counter. She vaguely wonders if him and the others are still referring to the Captain as Hook but Emma can't seem to do that anymore. She's moved on from his villainous persona and his real name always slips out so easily.

"We, uh, that is, Robin and I...we..." David looks around for his wife who was always his strength and support but she's in the nursery lulling baby Neal to sleep. "He's taken care of. We thought you might want to keep those." He nods towards the jacket, flask and mysterious box and Emma only rolls her eyes.

"Why would I want his jacket? Won't he freeze his leather butt off without this?" She reaches out and grabs the jacket, pulling it on anyways and being filled with his scent of, well, mostly salt water. Just the scent alone makes her think back of being out on the ocean with him on the Jolly Roger, sad that she hadn't had the time to enjoy the night on the pirate ship that they sailed to Neverland to rescue Henry.

The Jolly Roger.

That thought stopped her cold. Killian had been staying in Grannys and not on his ship, but why? Where was his ship? His jacket was heavy and warm on her limbs and she stashed the flask in the pocket, knowing he'd want that back as well. She needs to know what David meant by him and Robin taking care of Killian but whatever it is, she'll get Killian to tell her himself.

"I'll be back." She says in a rush as she practically runs from the apartment, needing to find her pirate more than ever. If he wasn't at Grannys and not at the Jolly Roger, where could he be? He was never far from her...

Truly never far from her, she nearly crashes into him as she runs out into the street but he luckily side steps around her before they can touch. For a second, she could have sworn that she saw his leather jacket on him, the same leather jacket that she was currently wearing, but she shakes her head and looks at him again.

Without his jacket on, he looks the same as he did back on the beanstalk that they'd climbed together. Who could have guessed that despite handcuffing him with a giant up there, that he'd make a habit of finding her and following her and they'd grow close? She was growing to depend on that habit more than she realized.

"Nice look you've got there Swan. Rather dashing if I must say so myself." He chuckles and throws her a wink as he takes in the sight of her in his jacket and she smirks right back at him, getting used to this back and forth between them.

"Thanks. David seems to think it's mine now. I might just take his side and keep it, it's warmer than I thought." She shoves her hands into the pockets and remembers the flask as her fingers brush it. "But this?" She continues as she pulls out the flask. "I don't think I can steal your rum from you. How'd you manage to forget this at the apartment anyways?"

Killian gives her that sad smile again as he looks down. She didn't like his new way of smiling at her, the way it pulls at her heartstrings because there's just something so sad in the depths of his eyes that's refusing to let him truly smile.

"Must've been drunk..." Is his weak excuse and Emma puts the flask back in the pocket.

"Well in that case, I'm confiscating your rum." She folds her arms across her chest and tentatively starts walking down the sidewalk. She doesn't hear his footsteps following her, but she glances to her side and he's there, by her side, as always.

Just when did he get so quiet? She tries to elbow him but somehow misses and he dodges to the side. A frown settles on her lips as she could have sworn that she made contact with him and just didn't feel anything but she decides to change the subject.

"So...when Are you going to tell me where the Jolly Roger is?" She glances to him again and he's stopped walking, looking at her so sheepishly and distressed and she can tell right away that there's something he's still hiding from her. He may have not lied to her, but he's learned how to dance around telling her the truth as well.

"Come on Killian. You were staying at Grannys? You stole a boat with Henry? How long did you think you could hide it from me? Is this what you've been trying to hide? About the last year?" Her voice gets softer, trying to coax him into talking.

He looks up at the sky and sighs, starting to walk down the sidewalk again as he hesitates and Emma persistently follows him, noticing that he's trying to walk out of earshot of Ruby on one of her jogs around the block.

"The Jolly Rogers gone." He finally says in a defeated tone and there's something he's holding back, she can just feel it.

"Gone?" She echoes back at him as they near the docks and he sits down at one of the benches that she sat on so often herself. Whenever she needed to think she found herself drifting towards the docks as if something was tugging her heart there, calling to her. It was this same bench she sat on when she was avoiding Neal's offer for a date and David had come after her. She sat down next to him, realizing that all the times that the both of them have been on the docks they'd never done something so simple as this. Just sitting together and talking.

"Emma love, you don't think travel between realms is easy do you? Even a damn good Captain as I, has to find a magic bean after I got the message and outsailed the curse." He smiles weakly and his tongue darts out across his lips as Emma leans closer, wanting to know what words were on the tip of that tongue.

"Of course it's not." She's somewhat comforted that he's sticking to his story about the message and she can tell he's not lying, he hadn't lied about getting the message which was something she'd need to make David apologize for later. She smiles again at the idea of him outsailing a curse to get to her, and smiles. Smiles had once seemed so foreign to her but were now so familiar when she was around him. "But how'd you get a magic bean?"

"By trading the Jolly Roger of course." And there it is. That smile he gives her when he says that sentence is a smile that clearly says it was painful but well worth it to get to her. He'd traded his brothers ship that he's had for over two-hundred years. He'd traded his home all for a chance to go through a portal and run through New York to try and find her.

She leans closer to him and he's unearthly pale in the sunlight, much paler than he should be but her heart is fluttering wildly and she can't control the urge she has to reach out and take comfort in this man that crossed realms to find her. The one person that she could rely on to never abandon her the way that she feared.

"Swan..." He whispers and she wishes that he'd call her Emma and love again instead. She'd been calling him Killian instead of Hook, they'd been letting their walls down together and she craved the familiarity that he always used as he invaded her personal space. The past few days with his careful distance, she'd missed the way he was always creeping close to her. It felt cold without him and she ignores the warning in his whisper as she leans in for a kiss.

She leans in and her lips meet with nothing. Her half-closed eyes open and stare at him in confusion as he jerks back from her. Their hands don't even touch. He doesn't allow it as he stands and backs away from her towards the water with grief stricken through those blue eyes.

Emma's green eyes try to meet his for an explanation as to why he'd pull away. She was at a loss for words. She had thought that this was what he wanted all along when he kissed her on Neverland, when he declared that he loved her in the Echo Cave and when he'd promised to fight for her. Why would he allow himself to come this close, to pull her in so near only to back away? The curse was broken, wasn't it? What could possibly still be holding him back?

"Why?" She demand and it comes out sounding angrier than she meant but she can feel an anger building behind the unshed tears of frustration in her eyes.

"I can't. Swan, believe me, please, but I can't..." His words sound strangled like he has a hard time getting them out without breaking down himself but she can't listen to his vague excuses. She gets up from the bench and walks away from him with more than disappointment settling in her heart.

. .

Instead of going back to the hotel room, she finds herself at her parents apartment again, still in Killian's ridiculous jacket but it felt heavier on her than ever. She practically rips the leather off of her as soon as she's in the door and throws it into a corner. One of the tears manages to break loose and runs down her cheek and before she knows it, her mother is by her side with her arms back around her without even asking what's wrong.

She appreciates that she's not asking what's wrong, not prying into her daughters personal space but confusion and anger is building up in Emma like a storm that can't be contained. Like her magic had when she was knelt over Killian's body after Zelena's defeat. She could feel it building again and had to let something out.

"It's Killian." Is all Emma can manage to say and Snow tightens her grip around her and tries to shush her.

"I know honey, I know...I Know it hurts but you've been doing so well so far, so strong..." She strokes Emma's hair again and looks at her full of pride.

"But it's not enough to be strong, is it?" Emma's words came out rushed. She always tried so hard to be strong but the stronger she pretended to be, the harder it hurt when she got knocked down. "I...I Tried to kiss him, and he just pulled away. WHY would he do that? Doesn't he love me?!" All the words that she'd wanted to say to Killian on the docks are rushing out now like an avalanche and all her parents can do is try to soothe her.

"Do you need to talk about it Emma?" David's voice comes near and he gives his wife a sad but knowing look. "Talking might make things easier...we Were just thinking that maybe a few sessions with Archie could help"

"Help what?" Emma cut him off. "Being rejected by the one person that I thought would stay by my side no matter what?"

"Emma honey, it's not like he choose for this to happen..." Snow tried to keep her voice calm for her daughter.

"Of course he did! You weren't there just now, you didn't see the way he..." Emma paused when her parents comforting expressions turned into confusion.

David's the first to break the silence that dropped at the end of Emma's sentence when she can't continue. "Just... Now? Emma, I don't understand. What happened just now?"

All Emma can do for a second is look back and forth between her parents. She thought they'd understood somehow. They'd both been so quick to her side when she was upset over Killian but now it felt like they were not only on two different pages but in two different books all together.

"I...I Told you... I tried to kiss him..." She says slowly, only to be cut in by David.

"When?"

"Just NOW!" Emma jerks out of Snow's grasp and waves her hands wildly, unable to figure out why nothing was making sense. "I went to give him back his stupid jacket." She shot the leather in the corner a glare, "And I tried to kiss him and he...he..." She stops. She doesn't want to repeat it. She may have not daydreamed over Killian Jones but in the back of her mind she'd always had a scenario of their first real kiss and this was definitely not it. "Forget it."

Blonde hair swirls as Emma turns and leaves to take a walk by herself and clear her head from the pirate as Snow and Charming give each other horrified looks.

"What...what Was that all about?" David slowly says after the moment starts to sink in for both of them.

Tears build up in Snow White's eyes as she looks at the closed door and puts a hand over her mouth. "Oh Emma... Oh my god David, she's... She hasn't been holding it together like we thought. All this time she's been losing her mind... She just can't cope with the fact that Killian died."

. .-

I hope the writing style was alright. I've never re-written an episode in an AU so I was trying to skip over the scenes that were already in the shows so I didn't bore you with the same script repeated. Not sure how much longer this will be. Maybe only a chapter or two. Emma is pressured into going to Archie to talk to a therapist about Killian and finally learns the hard truth in the next chapter.

To everyone that's seen Odd Thomas, I know that in the movie the ghosts could touch people but not talk but since Emma can't usually see ghosts I figured Killian would need his voice but had to change it so they couldn't touch to clarify he wasn't really there.


	2. Haunted

AN: Thank you for the reviews! I'm honestly sorry to have made some of you cry but there WILL be a happy ending. You can't enjoy a rainbow until after the storm you know.

.-ONCE. UPON. A. TIME.-

He wasn't the man he used to be. The man that she'd first met under a pile of corpses and tied to a tree and threatened with an Ogre was a man with darkness in his eyes and poison on every word that slipped off his tongue. Captain Hook. The ruthless captain of the Jolly Roger with his humanity carved out of him as if that was what Rumplestiltskin ripped out on that fateful day instead of Milah's heart. A man hellbent on revenge and uncaring who got hurt in the way, wither it was Aurora or Belle or anyone else who crossed his path.

Day by day, like sunlight trying to peek through a filthy window, little bits of Killian Jones started to escape Captain Hook. It was in the way he looked at her when he thought no one was looking with such a soft longing in his ethereal blue eyes. It was in the way he reached for his flask less often and found himself by Emma's side more often.

When Emma thought of Killian Jones, it was easier to think of him as Captain Hook. The villainous pirate with the devilish grin and the hint of madness in his eyes as blue as the ocean he sailed on. But that was Captain Hook. The man so blinded by loss and vengeance that he buried the man he used to be. That was the man that she climbed the beanstalk with. But Killian Jones was the man she left tied up with Anton atop that beanstalk. The glimmer of redemption that she turned her back on because she was too afraid to see past the fairy tales she'd been told as a child. Over that past year, she'd been thrown into a world of magic and fighting the Evil Queen and Rumplestiltskin. She had been tricked and burned by hoping there could be some good in them more times than she could count. Captain Hook would not be another mistake like they were. She couldn't take that chance.

In the Enchanted Forest, Emma just had to hope she'd never see him again. Wrong, oh so very wrong, since the pirate turned up at every corner she rounded, being the missing piece of every puzzle that needed solving and even somehow succeeded in following her back to Storybrooke with Cora. From there he was escorting her to Neverland, bringing her entire family back safe, finding her against the impossible odds in New York, bringing her home over and over again as he fought with her to show her that Storybrooke WAS her home and not New York.

But all of those memories seemed so far away now. Like another life not even lived by herself, but out of something she'd read in a book or watched on TV. Even with her memories back, her year in New York with Henry and the false memories of the life they hadn't truly had together as mother and son were still too embedded in her mind. She kept opening her eyes and expecting herself to have dozed off in front of the TV again. But each time she opens her eyes, the world around her is only all the more clearer.

The only clear memory when she opens her eyes in Archie's office is the painful one of him pulling away as she let her walls down and tried to kiss him last night.

Archie waits patiently, as if he's expecting her to say something as she awkwardly sits on his couch an looks around the room, wondering if this was how Henry felt when he had to have therapy. Except, Henry knew why he had to have therapy. It was Regina's way of trying to keep her curse in tact but trying to convince Henry that he merely had a wild imagination. Emma had no idea why she was here.

All she knew was that her parents relentlessly asked if she needed to talk to them or Archie. When Ruby and Belle joined in, Emma finally caved. She'd agreed to talk to Archie even if she didn't know what about.

"So... How have things been for you since the final fight against Zelena?" Archie finally breaks the silence and tries to get things started. His hands are pressed together and there's no chart or timer in sight. He's not timing Emma, writing anything down or asking for money, he simply wants to help her and she almost snorts as she remembers that he's Jiminy Cricket.

It's almost amusing that he wants to talk about Zelena when most of the town just wants to forget but it's a somewhat nice change of subject from Killian. From how she can't stop thinking about how he's changed and how much it hurt when he pulled away from her last night.

"Not too bad I suppose. The town's been pretty quiet at least. Seems colder than usual but y'know... Maine..." She presses her lips together and looks up at the ceiling. "Have you talked to Regina about her white magic? Impressive, right?"

Archie tried to smile but his lips twitched only a fraction. "Regina's come a long way, yes. But is that really what you want to talk about right now?"

Emma let out almost a hysterical laugh. "Honestly? I don't know what I'm supposed to be talking about. Unless it's how weird everyone's been acting lately."

"Everyone?" He uncrosses his legs and leans closer in his chair to look at Emma and the concern swimming in his eyes makes something nervous stir in her stomach. "I've been hearing quite the opposite. Everyone is really worried about you Emma."

She was floored with confusion. Was this how a mouse felt when it ran into a dead end and felt trapped, lost and confused all at once as it struggled to find an exit? As he leaned forward, Emma leaned back, trying to keep a casual space and look for her exit.

"Why? Zelena's gone, nothing horrible is happening for once... Why can't everyone sit back and enjoy it?" Liar. Why can't YOU enjoy it, a whisper echoed in her mind betraying the fact that it's been impossible to let her guard down.

Archie leans back as well, sighing in what seems like defeat as he wrings his hands together, clearly nervous about what he has to say next.

"Because... It's been over three days Emma. Dr. Whale is being a patient man for you, everyone wants to wait until you're ready to make the arrangements but you're the only one who really can. You're the only one who really knew him and the hospital doesn't usually keep a body past three days. It's been a week... Whale agreed to wait another week but after that...well, The body won't keep forever..."

Emma listened to him at first, waiting for him to say a sentence that made sense and would fit this entire weird puzzle together. Her mind echoes back to her earlier thoughts that this would be easier if Killian were here. Killian was always the missing piece to puzzles...

Her mouth opens a few times as she tries to find words through the confusion but all she can manage is a weak, "What?"

"Captain Hook, Emma-"

"His name is Killian." She almost growls back with a defensiveness to him that she didn't know she possessed. It took a long time for her to get past Captain Hook and find Killian Jones but now that she had, she just needed the others to see him as well. Starting with his real name. "Killian Jones."

Archie honestly looks startled and holds up his hands in defense, letting a few seconds pass to tame her anger back down. "Killian Jones..." He agrees with a wistfully sad hint in the tone of his voice. "His real name is a good start to making a grave marker."

That last sentence hits Emma like a punch to the gut and she jumps to her feet, her heart hammering before she has to convince herself that Archie of all people is not the type to threaten Killian. "And what the Hell is that supposed to mean?!"

Archie remains seated, although nervously. "I just thought... Neal had a grave but, like I said, you knew Ho-...Killian... Best. Are you thinking of a burial at sea?"

"What the HELL are you talking about?" Emma almost screams and her heart is hammering in her throat and trying to choke her words before they can come out. Archie's speaking as if Killian's the one whose been in the hospital mortuary for the past week but that's impossible, she's seen him every day. He's been by her side. He's ALWAYS by her side.

Somehow, she doesn't know how, but Archie remains calm and seated, readjusting his glasses. "I was Henry's therapist you know." He looks up to Emma who is trying her best just to breathe and can only nod. She remembers all too well. "When you first came here, I asked you to indulge in his fantasies. He's just a kid and there was no harm really to him thinking that fairy tales were real, especially since he ended up being right all along but... This? Emma? This is different. You can't do this. Everyone is worried about you, your parents and son are scared for you. You have to do this for the people that are still here with you. You have to move on."

Confusion is a whirlwind in her mind but her heart is aching and begging her to not make sense of what Archie is trying to tell her. She reigns in her emotions and levels her gaze to Archie's, meeting his eyes and making absolutely sure that whatever he tells her next is the truth.

"Why... Are you trying to talk to me about burying Killian?"

Jiminy damned Cricket with the patience of gold has no irritation in his voice when he has to repeat his words. Just a soothing plea for her to let the words sink in. "I already told you. Because you knew him best..."

"But he's not dead!" Was her voice always that shrill or was it only when panic sets in? "He's still here! He's always here!"

Finally standing so he can look her level in the eyes, he gently grasps her shoulders. "Denial is a cruel trick of a broken heart, I know, and he'll always be in your heart but it's time to let him go. There are stages to grief and-"

"I know the damn stages Archie." Emma snaps coldly, jerking out of his grasp and remembering all too clearly how hard it was to get past Graham and Neal. She glares at the ginger therapist and her mind is trying to tell her that some of this makes sense to everyone's strange behavior around her but her heart is begging her to remember that she's seen Killian every day. She's not going to stay here and sink deeper and deeper into confusion, she's going to go and find Killian and smack the hell out of her pirate until things start to make sense.

She whirls around to storm out the door when she's stopped dead in her tracks by the pirate himself blocking the door and she doesn't even have time to wonder when he had snuck in here so quietly or why.

"What-...? WHAT are you doing in here?" She struggles to keep herself from shouting at him, just relieved to see him again and barely hearing Archie asking who she's talking to behind her. "Why is he trying to talk to me about a funeral for you?"

"Emma? Are you...talking To Killian?" The worry and a bit of fear for the poor girls sanity can't keep itself out of Archie's voice and Emma hears it this time as she rolls her eyes and turns to look at him.

"Who else? Do you know any one else who wears this much leather?" She tries to crack a joke but something in Archie's expression reaches through to her as he looks around his office and finds a camera sitting on his desk to pick up. Emma slowly turns to look back at Killian who has the most terrified and griefstricken expression that she's ever seen on his pale face. Except he wasn't supposed to be this pale. He'd been pale the past few days but never this pale before. How long had he looked like this? A week? Since Zelena...

"Swan, love, I'm so sorry..." Killian tries to tell her but she's backing away from him now as there's a click of a camera behind her and Archie's footsteps as he walks towards her to hand her the camera.

"Emma... No one's there." The cricket says quietly as he hands her the camera with the picture he just took displayed on the screen. A picture of her blonde hair facing the empty door where Killian should have been standing.

. .-

Archie cancelled the rest of his appointments that evening as Emma sat on his couch with her knees pulled up to her chest and her hands in her hair in silence, just trying to wrap her head around the situation. Was she crazy? Was she hallucinating because her heart refused to go through this break again? Her eyes darted up to Killian who was sitting on the other end of the couch, not looking at her but keeping his eyes on the ground as if he was ashamed that he had died, allowing her time to let the horrible truth sink in. Archie sits back in his chair with his elbows on his knees as he mirrors Killian's position and if the situation wasn't so serious Emma would find it funny that he couldn't even see Killian but was mimicking him.

Both the men allow her time to think wither it's minutes or hours that pass, she can't tell. All she can do is go over her previous encounters with Killian over the week. Alone and always away from the group or anyone else. Keeping himself from touching her. So distant and she wishes she didn't know the reason why now. She hates that it makes sense. She hates it so much she wishes that she could grab the truth and crush it into dust but unfortunately truth isn't a physical form that can be taken away the way that he was taken from her.

When she does break the silence, all she can ask is; "Am I being haunted?" She doesn't look at Archie but at Killian instead. "Are you haunting me?"

"Haunt is such an offensive term, love." Those damned blue eyes keep avoiding her gaze and how can there still be so much tension between them when one of them isn't truly here?

"So when I tried to kiss you..." She starts out slowly, hating that Archie is overhearing this conversation. At least half the conversation.

"I didn't want you to find out like that." He looks up at her and there's nothing but unspoken apologies in his eyes although she doesn't know what he has to apologize for. She's the one who failed him. She's the savior that couldn't save him.

It's then that the unshed tears start burning behind her eyes and her voice wavers. "I lost you?"

"No love, you could never lose me." He's kneeling beside her suddenly and she doesn't know anymore if he's moving silently or if he has some sort of ghost-teleportation. He lifts his hand to brush it against her cheek but she feels nothing. Absolutely nothing. And that possibly breaks her even worse than before.

"So when Zelena killed you..." She trails off, knowing that he'll finish her sentence.

"She did.", he replies softly and Emma closes her eyes against his voice, wanting to hear the voice but not the words. "You know that Swan. But when your magic came back you did something. I don't know what, but you brought me back." Her green eyes flash open to study his face and search for truth it what he was saying. "Well, not entirely back but... I'm here. Not gone."

"Not entirely gone." She tries to smile at him and looks over at Archie who is only hearing half the conversation but not interrupting or asking questions either. The tears don't fall and she blinks her eyes rapidly, trying to rid herself of them. He wasn't entirely gone and that was what she had to cling to. If he wasn't entirely gone, maybe she didn't have to let him go. Maybe she could bring him back to her somehow.

Standing up and brushing off her jeans more than necessary just to give herself something to do, she smiles gratefully at Archie for being patient and polite through this and trying to help her. It wasn't his fault that he didn't know entirely what was going on.

"Thanks for your time Archie. But I think I need to go talk to Rumplestiltskin." She ignored Killian's groan at the name as she excused herself from the office.

. UPON. A. TIME. -

When Emma walks outside the office building, she's half expecting Killian to appear out of thin air and she's right. She left him behind in the office but when she exits the door, there he is standing by a parking meter on the sidewalk as if he was never inside and she has to wonder if he's been practicing this whole ghost thing in secret over the week. However, what she's not expecting, is David's truck and her parents waiting outside for her.

As she sees Mary Margaret open her mouth, Emma holds up her hands and takes a deep breath. "Wait. Before you say anything... I'm not crazy." She shoots a distressed look at Killian but she can tell from her parents expressions that they can't see him just like Archie couldn't. "He's haunting me."

"For the last bloody time Swan, it's not haunting." Killian lets out an exasperated breath and she can almost smile at the back and forth between them that never changes, no matter the situation.

Her mother mouths a few wordless sentences and looks all around the sidewalk, clearly unable to say what she was going to originally say but not knowing what else to say. "Ha-haunting? Like a ghost?"

"Not haunting." Killian persists although she can't hear him.

"Is he here now?" Mary Margaret asks carefully and Emma nods, pointing to the right of them where the parking meter is. It looks like it takes all of Snow's restraint to not leap away from where she points but instead she nervously smiles at where she thinks Killian is. "Oh. Hello Killian... I'd say it's nice to SEE you but..."

Emma laughs, actually laughs and some of the tears she's been fighting back escape because for a second everything seems normal and fixable and she can only hope that it is.

"I'm sorry I can't talk, I have to go see Rumplestiltskin." She ignores the way Killian rolls his eyes or the way David still hasn't said anything and looks unbelievably uncomfortable. "My magic...when Zelena was defeated. It did something. It kept him here and..." Emma's eyes widen. "You guys have to go to the hospital and make sure Whale doesn't get any ideas about cremating his body." That sentence was horrifying to say out loud but it spills from her lips and she doesn't need to beg her parents or think too long about Killian's body being lifeless somewhere in the dark. "I'll see you later tonight."

Her parents nod and give each other helpless looks as Emma runs past them and to her yellow bug. Killian's already in the passenger seat when she gets there and it's insane to say that she's getting used to the way he pops up next to her no matter where she goes.

.UPON. .-

AN: I actually did have to research how long hospitals and morgues keep bodies before funerals and the hospitals may refuse to keep them past 3 days but a mortuary can keep them up to a month as long as they're keep at a certain temperature. Weird to think about, I know.

Thank you to everyone reading. I have a vague outline of what's going to happen but if you have any opinions or ideas on little scenes, let me know.

I don't know how many of you have seen Odd Thomas AND Being Human (or either, some of you may have no idea what I'm doing here) but the ghosts in Being Humans can see doors to the afterlife when they're supposed to move on. As long as they don't go through the doors, they can stay in this world but the things on the other side of the doors get pretty persistent about bringing them through and start turning on TV's and radios to communicate and drive the ghosts crazy until they give up and give in. I'm definitely bringing the doors in, but should I bring the poltergeist harassment activity too? Make Emma a bit rushed to save her pirate and make the stakes a bit higher than just waking him up?


	3. Talisman

AN: You guys actually stuck through those first two depressing chapters so I'm trying my best to put some humor and happy moments into this chapter.

. UPON. A. TIME. -

"I knew I felt something unnatural in that building." Rumplestiltskin sighed and somehow, he looked straight at Killian making her almost think he could see him. However, if he could, he probably would have responded to the finger that Killian threw up at him. No matter what the two of them went through together, there seemed to always be tension and agitation between the two of them because of their pasts. "You've been unnaturally cold when he's around Miss Swan? If you ever need to know where he is, just feel for the cold draft."

"Oh good, and here I thought we'd have to fight an ice queen next." Emma responded dryly, as if she'd ever need to know where Killian was. He never hid from her, not once. "However, if I start getting any cold showers..." She shoots Killian a warning glance. Killian however, perks up as if Emma had just given him the best idea of his life. She can't help but compare him to a puppy that had just been asked if it wanted to go for a walk.

Rumplestiltskin makes a face at the both of them, clearly not wanting to be a part of their conversation as he idly walks around his store, carefully looking here and there for something. "If the two of you are done..."

"Right." Emma crosses her arms across her chest. "So you've got an idea what's going on then?"

"An idea, dearie? Or an idea you want to hear?" A sly grin was across Rumplestiltskin's lips as if this was a game and Emma almost didn't want to play.

"An idea I want to hear?"

"Nope. Can't help you then." Rumplestiltskin turned to walk away but Emma called out to him.

"Wait! Just an idea then. I don't care what." Her body stiffens, dreading what he's about to say.

That grin is still plastered across his lips and she doesn't like the way he looks at Killian, well, where Killian is. He turns back around and leans back against the counter.

"It's no low level magic that can tether a soul to this world. Trust me. If it were, my son would still be here one way or another." Rumplestiltskin's grin fades as pain floods through his brown eyes over his loss but he sighs and continues. "Unfortunately, Bae was my SON. Not my Soul Mate. I may have had true love for him, but it's not the same as this."

Emma's jaw drops and Killian lets out a loud "HA!" and she doesn't need to turn to know there's a giant goofy grin plastered across his face.

"Soul... mate...?" She feels lightheaded and wishes there was a chair she could collapse into.

"Soul mate." Rumplestiltskin responded. "Sure, sure, there's true love," His hand flicks through the air like he's teasing her, "but true love can be for anyone. Lovers. Sons. Sisters. Parents. It can happen more than once as you know from Regina. But Soul mates are one. Only one. When your magic burst from you in that barn, it was your soul grabbing it's other half- your pirate- and tethering it here with you. You kept him here. Only you can put his soul back where it belongs. Just think of it as...ah, a sleeping curse of sorts. Except without the soul, he's empty little husk and can't wake up. People need their souls, you do know. Quite important things."

"Soul mate." Emma repeated again and almost whimpered. She knew Killian loved her. She knew she'd been falling for him. But soul mates? She wasn't ready for that bomb to be dropped and she knew she'd never hear the end of it from him. "Great. So what do I do then? How do I put his damn ghosty form back into his body?"

Rumplestiltskin's expression was something of amusement at her distress over having to face the fact that her and Hook were indeed destined to be together. "You need an amulet or a talisman of sorts." He glanced around his shop again. "However, I have nothing here that would be symbolic of neither you nor him. It HAS to be symbolic. Something that could be wearable because once you put it on him you can never take it off. If he does, whooosh off goes his soul again and I doubt you'd be able to tether it back in time twice. Find something that means something to the both of you and come back to see me."

Sighing, she nods her head. Not too hard so far, but there were few things that the both of them shared. There was his jacket of course but he'd eventually need to take it off to shower or change clothes or to avoid heat stroke in the heavy leather... and Emma didn't like the way Rumple put emphasis on Killian never being able to take it off. She had to make sure it was something that wouldn't and couldn't come off. She looked to Killian who looked lost in thought as well, looking down at his rings and necklace but none of them held any significant meaning to Emma just as her necklace meant nothing to him other than the fact that it hung around the slender neck he wanted to kiss.

Just when she turns to leave, Rumplestiltskin's voice rang out again. "Oh, and Miss Swan? I'd hurry if I were you. There's only so long before the others notice that there's a soul that's avoided walking into the light. Trust me. You don't want them to notice."

"Others?" She spun back around the look at him. "Who are the others?"

His impish grin is nowhere in sight as he responds. "That my dear... Is a mystery even to me."

-ONCE. UPON. A. TIME. -

Emma and Killian arrive back at the apartment at the same time that Snow and Charming pull up. Her mothers eyes meet Emmas and then flicker around the empty space around them and Emma know instantly what she's trying to ask without saying the words out loud. Is Killian there? Emma nods and tilts her head to the left where Killian stands to her side and Snow's emerald eyes follow, giving an awkward wave to what looks like thin air to her. David however, still looks dumbfounded as if he's been hit by a truck and somehow managed to walk away in a daze.

Killian however, doesn't look at either of them and Emma shoots him a look. He shoots her one right back.

"What? It's not like they can see or hear me anyways. Just pretending I'm chatting about the weather over here." He shrugs as he switches to Emma's right side instead just to throw off Snow's awkward waving and if he had a physical form, Emma might have elbowed him in the ribs for it.

As soon as they enter the apartment, they're greeted by an overly relieved Ruby, her long dark hair askew and a mess, holding the baby prince in a bundle with a clear look in her eyes that she was in over her head when it came to babysitting. "Oh thank God you guys are back. You both know I'd do anything to help you but... You know my nose is extra sensitive, right? I don't think I can handle changing another diaper." Her smile is wide and joking but drops as soon as she sees Emma. "Oh...Emma... How are you?"

"I'm not crazy." Emma repeats automatically for what seems like the hundredth time today. She looks around the apartment for where she'd thrown Killian's jacket the night before, feeling guilty now and sees it folded up neatly on the kitchen counter with his flask back on top. And that box that had been on the table the day before has moved with it, still unopened.

As her parents try to talk to Ruby, Emma crosses the room to the kitchen to it. The box had been with Killian's possessions, something that everyone had obviously thought that Emma should have but she dreaded opening the box. Every time something had to remind her that even though he's right behind her, his body is cold in a morgue somewhere; another part of her heart breaks off and if this continues she's not sure if she'll be able to put all the broken pieces back together again.

Her hand runs over the worn wood of the box, looking too new to actually be Killians but old enough that someone made effort of finding something appropriate for his memory. The small brass handle lifts easily enough and it's like opening a mini treasure chest of her pirate. His rings and necklace sit inside, covering his long, silver, gleaming hook that laid at the bottom.

She wishes she hadn't opened the box. The second that she sees the hook, she whirls around, needing to see him there and remind herself that he's not truly gone. Not if she can help it. But his form flickers like a candle going out as he grimaces, clearly disliking whatever it was that caused that as the necklace, rings and hook vanish from his body. Emma has to take a step back to take in his new appearance and what it meant. Every time that she finds something of his, it vanishes from his body. When she'd worn his jacket, he was suddenly without it. But now he looked practically naked without the obscene jewels on his hand or the heavy chain around his neck. His chest hair still peeked up from his tunic and she vaguely wondered what would happen if one of the nurses at the hospital tried to hand her the rest of his clothes.

Emma and Killian's eyes meet and then both look down at his hookless hand together. She had often wondered if he'd even want his hand back if given the opportunity since his hook had become so much a part of him over the long years. Sometimes it seemed like he genuinely enjoyed using it and she lay be able to tell when someone is lying but she couldn't tell if he was really getting enjoyment or just making the best of the situation that he'd gotten used to. He sighs, looking as if he's trying to concentrate and reminding Emma that they know nothing about this curse or whatever he's under but he clearly can't control parts of it because no matter how hard he concentrates, he can't manage to make his hook reappear on him now that Emma's seen it in the box. Little by little, she's unknowingly stripping away bits and pieces of him and she knows she has to hurry. What happens if she sees his body? Would he vanish entirely without an option anymore? Maybe the key to saving him was in fact denial and refusing to believe that he was gone? Every piece of evidence only seemed to erase more and more of him.

She slams the box lid shut and sighs as Ruby leaves with a quiet, "Good night," and the door clicks shut behind her. David, who is still at a loss of what to do, is the one to take Neal back to his crib as Mary Margret walks back over to Emma and places her hand over her daughters.

"What can we do to help?" Is all she says and Emma is floored by the love and trust that her parents have. They could have called her crazy. They could have had her locked away in a mental institute or went to Regina for a potion of some sort to help with hallucinations but they were here believing in her word and belief and trying to help. If Emma wasn't already so emotionally drained, she just may have burst into tears again.

"I need a talisman...something To anchor his soul back to his body that's sentimental to the both of us as-" She cuts off her sentence and stutters for a second, avoiding looking at Killian and not ready to tell her parents about the soul mates bit. "As..as..a couple... true love..." She mumbles and feels her mother's hand rubbing soft circles on her shoulder.

"I knew I never should have let you go up that beanstalk with him. I should have seen this coming ever since the two of you skipped off together up that thing." Snow wants to be happy for her daughter finding true love, but she bites down her words and saves them for another day, after Killian is safe and back with them.

"Yep. What can I say? Love at first beanstalk." Sarcasm drips in her words, and now isn't the time to sit back and try to figure out just when Killian had fallen in love with her. She glances over to him, figuring he would have piped up with some ridiculous comment about this conversation by now.

Killian's watching Emma quietly after giving up on his hook. She can't tell if that's disappointment in her or himself in his eyes and she doesn't like not being able to read him the way that he can read her so easily. She can't tell if he's hurt or not by the way she's avoiding telling them the entire truth but that's just one more thing to deal with once all this gets settled once and for all.

She turns her attention back to Snow, hating the words that she has to say. "Did you guys... get it taken care of at the hospital? I mean, is he...?"

"Safe?" Her mother smiles softly. "Yes. I should have known it was some sort of sleeping curse. I WAS in one after all. And David. And Henry..." She trails off. "I guess we need to start a club, or at the very least a support group with Aurora."

Her lips press together as she gets lost in thought, possibly actually trying to plan a little group in a circle to talk about their nightmares of not being able to wake up. Emma clears her throat and jerks the Queen back into reality. "Oh! But we got him moved up to a hospital room with Whales help. Some of the nurses are a bit..." She bites her bottom lip, searching for the right, delicate word. "Nervous. I mean, they thought he was dead for the past week and there's always those zombie movies all over the TV. But I mean, really. How did David not recognize a sleeping curse? When he found me and woke me up, the dwarves all thought I was dead too."

"Because hopefully, David didn't try to kiss him to wake him up?" Emma lifts an eyebrow, pleased to hear her mother's laugh even if she also hears an obscenities from Killian. She's still not entirely sure on the specifics, on if Killian really was dead or just cursed. Zelena's spellwork mixed with Emmas magic had explosive results and the only one with an inkling of what was going on what Rumplestiltskin. And even he hadn't had all the answers. That alone made Emma nervous enough. What could be so dark that even the Dark One himself was clueless on the details?

ONCE. UPON. A. TIME. -

Several cups of coffee and an unsuccessful brainstorming mission later, her exhausted parents went to get some sleep before Neal would undoubtedly wake them up in a few hours for a feeding or diaper change. Emma headed back to her room at Granny's Inn well past midnight, grateful for both everyone else in the Inn being asleep and for Regina taking Henry for the night after a phone call from Snow about the situation.

Killian would be there tonight. She couldn't allow herself to sleep. She couldn't allow herself to let him out of her sight. Not now that there was a fear taking root deep in her that some mysterious things only known as "The Others" might try and take Killian away from her. And as much as she loved Henry, and she knew Killian did too, she wasn't sure if she was up for her son to overhear half the conversations that he'd overhear tonight. Neither did she want to look like she was sitting alone all night talking to herself the way that she knew she had been lately.

Everyone in the town had been walking on thin ice around her, and was that why? Did they see her walking around town with Killian, but to them it looked like she was talking to herself? Were they confused as to how she could smile after losing her pirate? Everyone including Regina could see the blooming romance between the two of them no matter how hard Emma had tried to deny it. How many hushed whispers were there whenever she called out his name in public while everyone around her thought he was dead? She swore that as soon as she gets him back she's plastering a giant "EMMA SWAN IS NOT CRAZY" sign on his back as she drags him around the town for everyone to see. How would he take to the idea of her duct taping that sign onto his leather jacket?

She wants to be grateful now that over the past week he stayed away from her while she was around people or steered her away from crowds when they were together. Hopefully, for the sake of her keeping up appearances but possibly to keep anyone from accidentally walking through him in front of her. That sure would have been a shock. But most of all, she just wants to grab him and shake him, and demand to know why he hadn't tried to talk to her about this himself before it got so out of hand with the entire town whispering behind her back.

It hurt strangely, to think that there were now so many people in the town that thought she could so quickly and easily get over his death. They had no idea. If Emma had left that barn that night thinking that he was dead, it wouldn't have been on her own two feet. It would have been kicking and screaming as someone would have had to drag her away from his body. She never would have left his side if she had known the truth of what it had cost to defeat Zelena. All magic came with a price, even defeating magic it seemed, but she refused to let that cost be another life. She was tired of magic being paid for in the blood of the people she loved.

Looking at him, it's the only thing that's been holding her together all day. Just the fact that she can still see him and there was still hope.

"I gather that this is where we part ways for the night then?" Killian's leaning against the wall next to her door looking a bit grim, and he has every right to have that look on his face. The past few days he'd kept this secret from her, a worse secret than the curse on his lips and she can't believe that he'd managed to hide it from her for so long. Or had her heart been refusing to see the signs that became so obvious after learning the truth?

"Actually... No." She looks up at him as she pushes open the door and there's no use in hiding the fear in her eyes. "Henry's with Regina for the night and..." Their eyes meet and her heart screams the truth even if she can't entirely say it out loud. The truth that she's afraid that if he leaves her sight, she'll run out of time to fix this and never see him again. "And you heard Mr. Gold. There are others or whatever...And No one else can see you so you'd better just keep haunting me, OK?"

"Not. Haunting. We both bloody well know what it is now Swan. Tethered. Consider that your soul is a leash on mine." He seemed so offended by the idea of haunting that she couldn't help but smile just a tiny bit.

"Right. Whatever it is, keep on doing it." She walks into her room with her arms full of his belongings and he's already inside in the small kitchen area with his arms crossed and a smirk.

"If I recall, you seemed quite upset about the stalking in New York." He gives her a bit of a pout and she can't believe that during all this, he can still manage to be light-hearted and make jokes until she looks into his eyes and sees the pain. He's not taking this casually, he's forcing the words and grins to make this easier on her and damn it, just how much can her heart hurt in one week before it withers up and stops beating? How much could he give her? He'd already sacrificed his life for her and even in the afterlife everything he does seems to be for her.

"It WAS stalking in New York. This is different." She wants to reach out and touch him, give him back some of the comfort that he's trying to offer her but she knows it's impossible and clings to his jacket in her arms instead. "How long have you known anyways? That you were...?"

"Your soul mate?" That grin is back and he wiggles his eyebrows, and her heart finally flutters happily instead of being stabbed as she sees a flash of joy and adoration through those blue eyes as he says the words out loud.

"No. You know what." Dead. But she won't say it out loud.

Her words do however, crush the fleeting joy that she'd seen in his eyes as he nods. He had apparently been hoping to change the subject.

"I didn't at first, love, I truly didn't. I woke up and saw you there...your gorgeous green eyes full of tears and all I could think was thank the Gods you were safe. Thank the Gods I woke up and I wasn't another one to leave you like that. " He takes a deep breath, meeting those eyes that he's talking about and she's glad that they at least shared that tiny, fleeting moment of happiness where they'd been able to look at each other in the barn and at least think that everything was going to be OK.

"But I reached out to you, Swan. You'd stood up and was going to walk away and I tried to grab your hand to make you wait and I..." He pauses, looking away and having to admit these things to himself just as Emma had in Archie's office. "I thought that I'd simply missed. I thought it was impossible to have had my hand go straight through yours."

Emma's throat tightens, wondering if she had paused to wait for him then in the barn if she would have seen both his soul and body separately.

"You were far up ahead with David and the babe so... I left you be. Tried talking to Rumple a bit but I assumed he was just ignoring me. Wouldn't entirely be a surprise there. Overheard some weird bits from Regina and Robin but didn't think much of it. Didn't really put any of the pieces together until we got to the hospital and your doctor fellow walked straight through me." Killian shivered at the phantom memory. "Not a feeling you get used to, love. Wasn't too hard to figure out after that."

The urge to touch him and comfort him somehow, in any way she could was killing Emma and he hand lifts to try and touch his hand only to have her fingers go right through and feel absolutely nothing. Killian however, shivers again.

"Didn't I just say that I can't get used to that?" But his tone is light and he's trying to joke again for her but when she looks up at him, she can see tears in his eyes too and knows how unfair and painful this is for him. He's been fighting for her for so long, impossibly in love with her and only when he finds out that they're supposed to be together no matter what, they can't be together. They can't even touch.

"But then..." He continues and smiles, actually smiles and she loves that real, honest smile that shows off his white teeth and smile lines around his eyes. "But then you turned around in the hospital and looked at me. You walked right up to me and started talking as if nothing was wrong. I always knew there was something special about you Swan, always." He's looking at her now that she's the most amazing treasure that he's ever seen and she almost can't handle it. "But it was when I realized that you were the only one who could see or hear me, I knew you could save me. I just had to wait and have faith in you. As I've said before, I've yet to see you fail."

"Seriously? But why wait? Why didn't you just TELL me?" Despite their coming clean to each other, she can't help feeling a bit angry and betrayed that he hadn't been the one to tell her. She had to go through that therapy with Archie and be told in the worst way possible, by being blindsided like the truth was a train that just slammed into her and left her aching, broken, and gasping for breath.

"Because you were HAPPY!" He sounded angry too and it's rare that he ever raises his voice at her like that. She wanted to argue that she wouldn't have been happy if she'd known the truth but he knows her all too well like the open book he'd once claimed she was and he beats her to her own words. "Zelena was dead and your family was safe and you were home and smiling and... how the bloody hell could I be the one to take away your happiness?"

Because you ARE my happiness, she wants to scream but the words choke in her throat as she finally drops his belongings that she's been holding this entire time and tries to grab him again. She anchors every bit of magic she can muster and believes with all her heart that if she just tries hard enough, she can touch him.

But her hands go right through him and she almost does scream in frustration as he flinches at the sensation.

"We HAVE to fix this. Soon. Sooner than soon. Now." She starts pacing around the room. "We just have to THINK. What do we have in common? The compass that we got on the beanstalk?"

"We don't even know where that compass is." He's dropped the painful subject and moved right along with her, trying to work it out.

"It got me and Mary Margret home so it has to be here somewhere, I just have to find it. What about the scarf? Your scarf that you wrapped my hand with?" Her head feels like it's about to split open as she struggles through their memories. There were so many, both good and bad but they were almost always while something dangerous and horrible was happening so it's not like they'd ever had time to just relax and spend time together. This whole thing would have been made so much easier if they had just had a day off that she could have dragged him out to a store to get him some normal clothes. She rummages through her drawers for aspirin but only finds hospital strength pain killers. Debating if the headache was worth it, she took one anyways and hoped that it'd help her relax if nothing else.

"Rumple said I couldn't take it off. I don't imagine I could keep that scarf on for the rest of my life." Although he sounds a bit sad that he can't.

"I might tie the damn thing on you so tight that you won't have an option." She mutters back as she walks back from the kitchen and he follows, swallowing down some water with the pill and plops down on the bed. Laying down, she stares up at the ceiling. She keeps having this nagging feeling that if she just turns around, if she just looks in a certain direction, what she needs will be there and clear as day but all she can see is the ceiling and holds no answers. "It'd be so much easier if this was just a sleeping curse. Why couldn't you have just eaten a bad apple?"

"Sleeping might not be a bad option for you Swan. You need to rest." Killian's voice comes from beside her and he's sitting on the bed so she rolls over on her side to face him. His hair is in disarray and she has no idea how long it's been like that. Despite being nothing more than a talkative soul at the moment, he still looks drained and worn out himself and souls probably don't have the need to sleep when they're not in a body. What's he been doing at night anyways?

"How can I sleep right now? We don't have any idea how much time I have to fix this." But despite herself, she closes her exhausted eyes and under the effect of the pain killers numbing her body and mind, she's asleep before she has a chance to convince herself to stay awake.

Killian smiles softly as he looks down at his stubborn, sleeping lass as her protests against sleeping quickly turn into soft snores. The fact that they can't touch is killing him every bit as much as it is her. She finally wanted his touch, his affection, and all he wants to do is brush her damn hair out of her face as she sleeps and he can't even manage to move a single strand. He focuses, trying his hardest and spends the night trying to figure out a way to help get himself back to his physical form so he can hang a banner from the clocktower declaring him and Emma soul mates and gather her into his arms so tight that she can't wiggle free to smack him for it.

"But Swan," He sighs wistfully, "You didn't ask me how long I've known we're soul mates."

It's his wishes and daydreams of a happy ending that distracts him from ever noticing the door that appears where there should be nothing but wall.

ONCE. UPON. A. TIME.-

AN: Thanks for sticking in here with me through the angst. This chapter seems a bit short and rushed and I hate that but I was feeling guilty for leaving this fic so hopelessly depressing for so long and wanted to slam a chapter out quickly to try and cheer you all up.


	4. Doors

Emma woke up, slowly stirring at first, blinking her bleary green eyes a few times and then bolting straight upright with a rush of adrenaline as soon as she realizes that she had been sleeping. The sunlight's streaming in through the window, giving away the dawn of a new day and wasted time that she could have spent on trying to save Killian.

"Oh God. Oh God, how long did I sleep?! How did I even sleep?" She panicked and looked at the clock that only said nine in the morning and then looked back to Killian with wide eyes, who was still sitting by her side on the bed in the same position that he'd been in when she'd fallen asleep. It was his presence next to her still that was the only thing that calmed her racing heartbeat.

"Not nearly long enough. You'll wear yourself out like this." Killian smiles at her softly and as she remembers how to breathe properly, the scene before her sinks in.

This was something she could get used to. Waking up next to him and hearing his voice first thing in the morning. If only it were under different circumstances and she could roll over closer to cuddle against his body.

"I'LL get worn out? What about you? Did you even sleep at all?" Her words are slurred with drowsiness as she resists the urge to faceplant back into the pillow. She keeps telling herself over and over to get up and make coffee but her body is unwilling to find the energy to move anymore now that her quick rush of adrenaline and panic was wearing off.

"Why would I need to sleep when I don't have a body to get exhausted?" Killian responded with an arched eyebrow and the only response that Emma could manage was a weak shrug. Hadn't she just been thinking about that last night? Last night was a blur of caffeine jitters, painful emotions and frustration to the point of making her lose her mind.

Shaking her head a few times and noticing some of her long, blonde hair was tangled, she urged herself up and her body somehow made it out of bed and over to the coffee maker as she tried to wake herself up. She couldn't afford to be tired right now, she had to hop on the caffeine and think straight to get everything sorted out.

Ever since she found out the truth about Killian, she rarely saw him walk anywhere. She'd just turn around and he'd be across the room in an entirely different spot or right beside her and while it unnerved her because it was unnatural and only called attention to his condition, she'd been getting used to it. Expecting it even. So when she turned around in the kitchen and he was still in the same spot on her bed staring at the wall, it came as a bit of a surprise. For a few moments, she just watches him. He almost looks frozen, his bright blue eyes taking the light shade of ice in the morning sun are transfixed at the wall.

Except, there's nothing on the wall. Tacky wallpaper was all that covered the space besides two windows that showed the main street of the town outside. Listening to the coffee maker hiss and bubble to life, Emma tries to follow his sight to see what he sees that holds his attention so captivated. Failing to see anything but rooftops out the window, she walks over and her hand reaches out to pull the curtain back further when Killian's suddenly right beside her.

His eyes hold a bit of panic as does his voice, "What're you doing lass?!"

However, it all happens in a split second and quite frankly, scares the shit out of Emma. It's too early in the morning to literally have ghosts popping up and shouting at you and if Killian were to have stereotypically yelled "BOO!", it would have scared her all the same.

"What are YOU doing?!" She shouts back, pressing a hand over her hammering heart. "The COFFEE is supposed to wake me up! You don't need to give me a heartattack!" She takes a deep breath, her eyes wide and at the very least she's now wired and wide awake for a few seconds.

"I..." For a second he seems taken aback, looking at the curtain that she was about to touch and then back at the blank space of wall. "I thought you were... Nothing. Nevermind." He backs off quickly, scratching behind his ear the way that he does when he's nervous or embarrassed. The way that he had before he tapped his lips to ask for a kiss on Neverland and the way that he had when his leg bumped the table during Regina's seance. The little motion is so endearing to Emma that she almost forgives him for giving her an early morning fright.

"No, it's not nothing, you acted like I was about to touch a bomb. What were you looking-" Emma gets cut off by her cell phone ringing but as she crosses the room to answer it, she looks back suspiciously at Killian. "What were you staring at?"

The screen on her phone is lit up with 'Henry' and she looks to Killain, waiting for him to answer but his lips remained sealed shut as he gestured to her that she needed to answer the phone and she could only roll her eyes.

"Hey kiddo, how was your night?" She wonders if her voice even sounds normal right now but perhaps Henry spent too much time around Killian because he does the same thing as the pirate and completely ignores her question as his voice bubbles over the line.

"Mom! Regina told me Killian's a ghost? Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped!" And Emma almost facepalms. How did Regina find out already? She couldn't be angry with Regina for telling Henry however, the kid at least sounded excited and relieved that his favorite scandalous babysitter was still around in one way or another. Was the entire town gossiping? She hadn't exactly asked Ruby to keep it secret and if she worked the morning shift today and made the mistake of telling one of the dwarves, there was a good chance that every single person in Storybrooke already knew.

"Henry, it's just weird and I figured sitting down and talking about it could wait until after it was fixed. I'm sorry kid, I didn't meant to leave you out." She apologized over the phone but guilt still gnawed away at her. She thought that after Henry got his memories back she wouldn't have to hide things from him anymore but here she was sneaking around all over again.

"Yeah but mom, I could have helped ghost-safety prepare the room!"

Emma actually does rub her forehead, not even knowing how to respond to something like that this early in the morning. "He's not a baby Henry, it's not like we can go around and put rubber tips on all the sharp edges."

"No, no, I mean getting rid of all of the iron and salt!"

She blinks a few times and takes the phone away from her ear so she can look at it and be reassured that she's actually having this conversation and not having some bizarre dream. "Salt? Why do I need to get rid of salt?"

Henry's voice was exasperated on the other line as if he were the adult talking to a child. "Salt can hurt ghosts mom! Don't you watch Supernatural?"

If Emma's morning was going to start with heartattacks and Henry's jabbering about one of his TV shows, she was going to need that coffee maker to hurry up. "Henry, he's not a, he's not...well, He's... OK, I'm not exactly sure what he is but OK, alright. If it'll make you feel better I'll throw out the salt."

A few more nods and "mmhms" from Emma and her and Henry hung up, allowing Emma to make her coffee and momentarily forget about Killian staring transfixed and worried at the blank wall again.

ONCE. UPON. A. TIME. -

Not sure why, but when Emma finally got to pour herself coffee that morning, she pulled out two mugs and filled them both with coffee, topping them off with a dash of sugar and cinnamon before carrying them both over to the table in the living area of the room to set one down in front of Killian. It's only after she takes a few sips of her own and gets the first taste of that fresh, recharged feeling that comes with it that she looks down at the second cup and softly says, "Oh. You can't even drink that, can you?"

It had been a thoughtless reflex to make Killian a cup of coffee in the morning along with hers and she blamed it on her tired and weary mind but deep down, it had just felt right. The two of them together in the morning, making coffee to share, starting their day together...

Now, her coffee cup was drained and she reached for Killian's untouched one as they sat on the couch together with a pen and notebook, trying to make a list of every object they could think of that they'd have in common and how to make it wearable. Emma giggled over the idea of finding one of the pairs of handcuffs that she'd handcuffed him with but after a few seconds of giggling, she realized that they might be a serious idea and added them to the list as well. Most of the other objects were lost on the Jolly Roger, trapped in another realm and she knew they wouldn't be able to get to them in time.

The wooden box is open in front of them, revealing the few treasures that the pirate held so dear to him that he wore every day and she can only wish that any of them meant something to her too. It'd be so easy. She picks up one of his rings, the one he always wore on his ring finger and she smiles slightly as how gaudy and out of fashion it was but still somehow managed to look good on him. He pulled off man-rings the same way that Johnny Depp pulled off wearing a broken wooden spoon in his hair.

Turning the ring over in her hand that she's still holding, her fingers brush over the engraving of a small flower on the sides. A flower so similar to the tattoo on her wrist and she looks down at her wrist while holding the ring. What were the chances that one of his prized possessions before they even knew each other was a ring with that flower on it? What were the chances of the one tattoo she chooses being the same one that a pirate in a far off land wears around his finger? It was no chance, but destiny, and she almost wants to keep the ring for herself.

She's mulling over the thought of his hook instead when it happens. The hook was such an obvious pick, the first sign of trust between them when she handed it back to him in the Enchanted Forest to climb the beanstalk. It was what she confiscated from him in the hospital and locked in the desk drawer of the Sheriff's office. It was a weapon but also an essential part of him, a part of him that he constantly used to pull her closer or to play with her hair and the fond memories she has of it makes her smile but she also knows that she's seen him take it off entirely too often. Hooks are too conspicuous and if he someday needed to put his fake hand back on, the option would be gone.

She misses seeing his jewelry, hook and jacket on him. He seems too bare without them, not like himself, and if she had known that seeing what was in the box would take them away from his appearance, she would have left the box untouched. The black sleeve of his shirt hangs over the holster attached to his wrist that the hook fits into and for the first time that she's looked at him, he actually looks handless. With the hook, he was never truly without a left hand, just without a conventional one. He was never less of a man to her because of it and why didn't she take the time to appreciate things like that about him when she'd still had the chance?

A groan escapes from her, thinking that the only things she ever sees him keep on is his necklace and rings. And that earring. She perks up, looking at the tiny crystal hanging from his ear when the radio clicked on and she looks up at it in confusion. The channel was set to the station with the Good Morning Storybrooke crew on in the mornings but now it was just static.

With a raised eyebrow, she turns to look at Killian. "Seriously? Are you going all poltergeist on me now?" But Killian's eyes are transfixed on the radio as well, not hearing her at all as she tries to talk to him and going paler than usual if possible. She tries to not let the fear that something is wrong overtake her as she snaps her fingers in front of his face to get his attention. "Killian?"

He instantly jerks his attention back to her and the fear she was trying to hold back overtakes her at the heartbroken and lost look in his eyes, a look that was getting too familiar for the two of them and she hates seeing. It's the only thing that she hates more than the fact that she can't touch him, reach out and grab him and shake him right now to keep his attention on her as he starts to look to the radio again. "Killian!"

"Emma!" His voice is a hushed whisper compared to the way she'd almost shouted his name and he looks back and forth between her and the radio. "Wait. I'll assume you can't hear that?"

"Hear what? The static? Is that what's spazzing you out? It's normal, it's just what happens when a channel goes off the air. Technology and all but-" As she's talking, she gets up to go and turn the radio off if it's really bothering him that much. To be honest, it's bothering her too, the scraping noise is grinding on her nerves and sending chills down her spine and she can't help but think back to every bad ghost movie that she's ever seen. Couldn't spirits communicate through technology? Wasn't that what White Noise, Poltergeist and The Ring were about?

Maybe Killian's kinetic energy, or whatever it was that was keeping him visible to her, was just going haywire and affecting the actual energy around them now. But she has no idea how close to the right answer she was when Killian's next words make her blood run cold.

"It's Liam."

Liam? She'd only ever heard of one Liam before.

"Isn't...Liam Dead?" She asks even though she knows the answer, even though she doesn't want to hear the answer, even though the answer is so clearly written in his pained blue eyes at hearing his brothers voice again after being lost for centuries. Buried emotions that he kept locked away for so long, covering his loss with a life of piracy were floating back to him. Memories faded and forgotten were becoming clearer and it was getting harder for Emma to hold his attention over the temptation that the other world was offering him. How could the woman who constantly pushes him away compete with the chance for him to reunite with his brother?

Brakes screeched to a halt in Emma's mind. Other world. Other. The after life, the spirit world, the Others that Rumplestiltskin had tried to warn them about had to be other souls trying to reach out and drag Killian to them where they thought he belonged. And only one thought went through her mind after that. That they were NOT going to win. He belonged here, with her, not with them. Panic seized her as she grabbed the radio to turn it off. It's metal was ice cold to the touch and sent a jolt of foreign and unwelcome energy through her as the static died down to a fizzle and in her mind she hear a soft Irish accent too similar to Killians and yet so different, whispering for his brother to join him.

Not happening. She turns and throws the radio as soon as her hand touches it and the voice rushes through her, letting it crash through the window and hearing it hit the street and shatter outside and not caring about how much Granny charged her to repair that.

"How did you do that?" Killian's voice sounds from behind her and she turns to find him so close behind her that she almost waves an arm through him as she turns. Her heartbeat starts to slow down now that he's looking at her, fully focused and not being entranced by the siren call of his dead loved ones.

"Do what? Break a radio? I'm actually pretty good at breaking appliances. You should ask Mary Margret about what happened to her toaster." She almost lets out a relieved laugh, but out of the fire and into the frying pan.

"No, get rid of the door." He responds and things only seem to get worse and worse as she dreads asking, but asks anyways.

"What door?"

"That... Well." Killian nods towards the blank stretch of wall but pauses with uncertainty lingering in his voice. "It was there. Red."

Suddenly the way he had been staring at the wall made sense, and the way he acted like there was a bomb near the curtains if he had thought that she was going to get near the foreboding door. The impulse to take a hammer and destroy the wall where he's looking is high and a tempting idea. As was the idea of taking him and running and locking him away in the magical back room of the pawn shop but she knew both ideas were only stalls and not solutions. The hourglass that let their time left together slowly slip away was now empty and their time had run out. Hearing the dead and seeing doors to the afterlife were the sure signs of that, there was no other explanation.

"We're out of time." Her thoughts slip out of her mouth and Killian doesn't need to hear them, he's probably known that they were out of time the second that he set eyes on that damned door while she slept last night. The fact that he'd stayed by her side instead of letting his curiosity draw him away at least showed Emma that he was fighting this the best he could.

She runs back to the notebook but her heartbeat has tripled in speed and she can't focus on the words scribbled across the pages. Grabbing the box of his belonging, she dumps it upside down on the couch to rummage through them and the ring with the flower on it rolls across the couch and onto the floor. Singling itself out, calling to her the way that the one ring to rule them all called to- No. She was NOT going to get lost in thought thinking about Lord of the Rings right now.

"Swan." She hears Killian's alarmed voice a split second before she hears the click of the TV turning itself on and the same static that the radio had. The second it flicks on, his eyes dart to it and his voice sounds through the room again in a deeper, more urgent tone laced with panic. "Emma."

Her eyes flash away from the TV to Killian for only a second before looking back to it. "It's not really him Killian." Her voice was firm and confident even if she wasn't sure. For all she knew, it very well could be Liam Jones on the other end of that static, trying to reach out and reclaim his little brother. But her liedetector was going off like haywire even without being able to hear the voice or words and a stronger hunch told her that it was something in the afterlife, a reaper or something of sorts, trying to manipulate and trick Killian, dragging him through with temptation just to keep the balance maintained. The balance could go buy a cheap hooker and screw itself for all Emma cared.

"Killian, don't listen to him." She pleaded with him and this time her voice wavered on the last note, broken by the idea of not being able to grab him and keep him here physically. If he chose to go through that door, there'd be nothing that she could do to keep him here anymore.

"Killian." Repeating his name like a prayer, knowing the strong connection that it forged between them to use his real name.

Killian's eyes blinked and looked down at the floor, looking more ashamed than heartbroken. His eyes can't seem to meet Emmas and when he opens his mouth she dreads the words coming out. He looked like a man standing down his last battle, broken and defeated, unable to go on and she can't handle looking at the strong willed pirate like that.

"It's not Liam." He looks everywhere but at her and there's a long pause before he can muster the courage to finally look her in the eyes. "It's Milah."

Something in Emma snaps at the name. Over the days, everything inside of her had been breaking and shattering into painful pieces and clawing at her heart. But this snaps in an entirely different way, the snap of a fire crackling to life and bursting to vicious life. Anger consumed her like wild flames that they'd use Killian's first love as bait.

"No." Her voice was deeper, darker than she remembered it being and even Killian looks surprised by the venom laced on the single word. He tries to whisper her name but she can't focus on anything except looking at him, the man who had fought for her for so long, the man who seemed like he would do anything for her including cheating death. It was her turn to fight for him and a long dead ex wasn't going to win.

"No. Killian, look at me, remember the echo caves. Remember what you said and what it meant." She strangely felt like she was in the echo caves herself, having to admit her dark secret that would tear her open and wear her emotions on her sleeves. It was like turning her back on a sword, leaving herself vulnerable to attack. But if Killian was the one to wield the sword, she felt safe to turn her back on the blade. She trusted him with her life before, and now with her heart.

"She may have been your true love once, but you can have more than one. I'm... I'm your soul mate." First she had to admit to being a mother, then a savior, then a lost girl and now a soul mate. When she made her New Years resolution, this wasn't quite what she had in mind. "Your ONLY soul mate." She holds up one finger and flicks it between the two of them. "Stay here with me. Don't you dare go near her."

Killian tilted his head at the demand and his eyes have a strange sparkle to them. The only thing that he had truly needed to choose Emma over Milah was the declaration that she actually wanted him here with her. His lips twitch up into his trademark smirk and he bows towards her with only one thing to say. "As you wish."

As soon as the words are spoken, the TV instantly turns off and somehow the dark screen is even more foreboding than the static. Killian notices as well and Emma starts to notice a drop in the temperature in the room, slowly declining.

Alright, the Afterlife didn't like being ignored: memo received.

"We have to do something. I have to call Regina, Rumplestiltskin, the Blue Fairy, someone! Maybe they can help put up some sort of force field around you until we can get this figured out." Her heart ached at the idea of him essentially being inprisoned but nowhere near as painful as if she lost him all together. The man was a pirate, surely used to his fair share of being arrested and even if he hadn't been before he met Emma, he sure should be used to handcuffs by now.

Turning to grab for her phone, her eyes land on that ring again and she grabs it instead to take a closer look at the flower. "A flower is a symbol. Symbols. Symbolic. Literally a symbol." She muttered, feeling like she was losing her mind and putting entirely too much faith into a coicidence. "Where did you get this ring from? Why?"

"You're seriously asking my shopping opinion at a time like this?" He responded in disbelief.

"No!" Emma yanked back the sleeve of her shirt and showed him the flower tattoo that she knows he's seen a hundred times before but only now, his eyes are looking back and forth between the tattoo and ring and trying to put the pieces together. "What if this ring is what we need? Do you ever take it off?"

"Well, no, but..." Killian sounded like he was holding back, trying hard to not get his hopes up like walking on thin ice. "I don't even remember the day I got it. Just switched around treasure as I found it until I liked a set. Then I set sail to Neverland and, well, not many jewels there."

Her ringers were going numb now as her breath started to ghost in the air and the temperature continued to drop. "This might be the best chance we've got."

"And what if it's not? A flower's common Emma. We both also own leather jackets and tall black boots." He points out and it's not just himself that he's concerned about. If the ring fails, he'll simply move on to the afterlife where he may or may not continue to have an existence. But it'd leave Emma alone in this world, being left behind again and feeling guilty and responsible for believing in something to save him that failed. He couldn't let that guilt land on her shoulders and crush her.

"I'll MAKE it sentimental then." The fire still kindled inside her with determination burning in her eyes. "We're soul mates. I'll admit it, OK? But that means we're going to be together. Forever." Her mouth was moving and speaking without thinking this through. "If we already know that we're going to be together forever then... Don't you dare laugh at me."

She draws a deep breath into her lungs to steady herself for what she knows she has to do. Her mind finally realizes that her heart has been finally speaking it's mind and she barely registers the feeling of carpet beneath her as she drops down on one knee in front of Killian and offers his ring back up to him. "I know this isn't exactly conventional but...when Are we ever? Marry me?"

ONCE. UPON. A. TIME. -

AN: I couldn't choose between Liam or Milah so I went with both of them and I feel like while they were both important, it may have been too much to squeeze into this chapter and made it seem a bit chaotic and rushed.

Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to comment or leave suggestions. I already had the ring planned but I really loved the idea left about the handcuffs so I had to try and give them a shout out. The Ghost Whisperer idea was also really cute but I'm not sure my attention span would make able to handle how much longer this fic would be if I added the obstacle of amnesia in.

I'm really sorry to everyone who has cried over this (especially you in public), I really hope I can do justice to the happy ending to make the pain worthwhile.


End file.
